Is Mormon Soaking Fact or Fiction? Unraveling the Viral Trend

In the age of viral internet trends, few topics have sparked as much curiosity and controversy as “Mormon soaking.” This alleged sexual practice has set social media ablaze, leaving many wondering: is Mormon soaking fact or fiction?

Let’s dive deep into this phenomenon, exploring its origins, cultural context, and the blurry line between urban legend and reality.

What is Mormon Soaking?

Mormon soaking, sometimes called “marinating” or the “BYU Float,” is purportedly a sexual practice where a couple engages in penetration without movement. The idea is that by remaining still, it doesn’t “count” as sex, thus circumventing religious prohibitions on premarital sexual activity.

But why is this associated with Mormonism? The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS), commonly known as the Mormon Church, has strict rules against premarital sex. Brigham Young University (BYU), owned by the LDS Church, enforces a rigorous Honor Code that prohibits sexual activity outside of marriage.

The logic (if we can call it that) goes something like this:

1. Sex before marriage is forbidden
2. Sex involves movement
3. If there’s no movement, it’s not really sex
4. Therefore, soaking doesn’t violate religious rules

Of course, this reasoning is about as watertight as a sieve, but it highlights the mental gymnastics some might employ to navigate strict sexual norms.

It’s worth noting that the LDS Church’s stance on sexual purity isn’t just about avoiding premarital sex. The church teaches that sexual intimacy is a sacred gift from God, meant to be enjoyed within the bounds of marriage. This belief is deeply ingrained in Mormon culture, influencing everything from dating practices to dress codes.

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Not Unique to Mormons

While soaking is often associated with Mormon culture, similar concepts exist in other sexually restrictive environments. For example:

• The “poophole loophole”: The idea that anal sex doesn’t count as losing one’s virginity
• “Durfing”: Dry humping as a substitute for penetrative sex
• Oral sex: Often seen as a “lesser” sexual act
• “Just the tip”: The notion that partial penetration doesn’t count as full sex

These workarounds aren’t unique to any one religion or culture. They’re a testament to human creativity (or desperation) when faced with sexual restrictions.

“Wherever there’s a rule, there’s someone trying to find a loophole.” – Anonymous

In fact, these kinds of sexual loopholes have a long history across various cultures and religions. In some Orthodox Jewish communities, for instance, there’s a concept called “yichud,” which prohibits unmarried men and women from being alone together. This has led to creative workarounds, like leaving a door slightly ajar during a date.

Similarly, in some conservative Christian circles, there’s a practice called “bundling” or “tarrying,” where a courting couple might share a bed but remain fully clothed, often with a board placed between them.

Soaking and Its Critics

Ex-Mormons and critics of the LDS Church have seized on the concept of soaking as further evidence of what they see as the absurdity of strict sexual norms. However, this criticism comes with its own set of problems:

1. It potentially perpetuates harmful stereotypes about Mormons
2. It may shame individuals struggling with their sexuality
3. It could spread misinformation if soaking isn’t actually a widespread practice

As Lisa Barlow, a self-proclaimed “Mormon 2.0” from “The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City,” might say, “It’s all a bit rich, baby.”

Critics argue that the very concept of soaking highlights the psychological toll of repressive sexual norms. They contend that it’s a symptom of a larger problem: the shame and guilt associated with natural sexual desires in highly religious communities.

On the other hand, defenders of the LDS Church argue that these stories are nothing more than salacious rumors spread by those who don’t understand or respect their beliefs. They point out that the vast majority of Mormons take their commitment to chastity seriously and wouldn’t engage in such obvious attempts to skirt the rules.

Fact or Fiction?

Here’s where things get tricky. Despite the buzz around soaking, concrete evidence of its prevalence is about as elusive as a snow leopard in the Sahara.

Consider these points:

• Most accounts are anecdotal (“I heard from a friend of a friend...”)
• There’s a lack of academic research on the topic
• The private nature of sexual activity makes verification challenging

So why do people believe it’s real? A few factors come into play:

1. Confirmation bias: If you already believe Mormons have strange sexual practices, you’re more likely to believe in soaking
2. The appeal of scandalous stories: Let’s face it, soaking is a juicy tale
3. Misunderstanding of Mormon culture: Non-Mormons might not realize how seriously many Mormons take sexual purity
4. The power of urban legends: Stories like this tend to take on a life of their own, regardless of their basis in fact

It’s also worth considering the role of humor and satire in spreading the soaking myth. Many memes and jokes about soaking are clearly tongue-in-cheek, but as they spread, the line between joke and “fact” can become blurred.

My Introduction to Soaking

I first heard about soaking from an ex-Mormon friend who swore it was rampant at BYU. At first, I thought it was a joke. I mean, surely no one would actually believe this was a loophole, right? But the more I heard about it, the more curious I became. Was there any truth to this wild claim?

My friend’s story was compelling. He spoke of hushed conversations in dorm rooms, of couples who swore they’d found a way to be intimate without breaking the rules. But when I pressed for details, for names or firsthand accounts, things got fuzzy. It was always a friend of a friend, a roommate’s cousin, never someone he knew directly.

This pattern would repeat itself throughout my investigation. Plenty of people had heard of soaking, but finding someone who had actually done it or knew someone who had? That was like trying to nail jelly to a wall.

Historical Context of Alternative Sexual Practices

To understand soaking, it helps to look at the historical context of alternative sexual practices in religious communities.

Take the case of Albert Carrington, a Mormon apostle excommunicated for adultery in 1885. Carrington argued that his actions weren’t adultery because he never ejaculated during these encounters. Sound familiar?

This isn’t unique to Mormonism. The Oneida Community, a 19th-century religious sect, practiced “male continence” – sex without male orgasm – as a form of birth control.

Practice	Community	Purpose
Soaking	Allegedly Mormon	Circumvent premarital sex ban
Male Continence	Oneida Community	Birth control
Carrington’s “non-adultery”	Early Mormonism	Justify extramarital encounters
Bundling	Some Protestant groups	Allow courtship without full intimacy

These historical examples demonstrate that creative interpretations of sexual rules are nothing new. They often arise in communities where sexual expression is tightly controlled, yet human desires remain unchanged.

It’s also worth noting that these practices often reflect a legalistic approach to morality. Rather than focusing on the spirit of the law (in this case, sexual purity), they attempt to find technical loopholes. This mindset can be traced back to ancient religious traditions, where scholars would debate the precise definitions and boundaries of religious laws.

The Rise of Online Soaking

The earliest online mentions of soaking date back to the mid-2000s. But it was the rise of social media, particularly TikTok, that catapulted soaking into the spotlight.

The internet, with its anonymity and vast reach, provided the perfect breeding ground for stories about soaking to spread. Forums like Reddit became hotbeds of discussion, with threads dedicated to debating whether soaking was real or just an elaborate hoax.

The Dating is Weird Blog Post

One of the earliest significant mentions of soaking comes from a 2010 blog post on “Dating is Weird.” The author claimed to know people who had “done it,” giving credence to the idea that soaking was a real practice.

This blog post is often cited as “proof” that soaking is real. However, it’s important to approach such sources critically. A single anonymous blog post, no matter how convincing, doesn’t constitute solid evidence of a widespread practice.

The T-Rex Comic and Its Origins

In 2014, artist Mark Salcedo published a comic about soaking featuring a T-Rex. The comic went viral, spreading the concept far beyond Mormon circles. Salcedo, who worked on the popular web series “Cyanide and Happiness,” wasn’t Mormon himself, adding an layer of outsider interpretation to the phenomenon.

The comic’s popularity demonstrates how humor can be a powerful vector for spreading ideas, even controversial ones. It also highlights how non-Mormons have played a significant role in popularizing the concept of soaking, often without a deep understanding of Mormon culture.

The Fading Interest

After the initial buzz, interest in soaking seemed to wane. A 2017 Reddit thread on the topic got limited response, suggesting it might have been fading into obscurity. But then came TikTok, and soaking was back in the spotlight.

TikTok’s algorithm, which can quickly amplify niche content to a wide audience, breathed new life into the soaking myth. Suddenly, teens and young adults who had never heard of soaking were making videos about it, further blurring the line between fact and fiction.

This resurgence raises interesting questions about how social media shapes our understanding of subcultures and religious practices. In the age of viral content, can a myth become reality simply through repetition and belief?

Seeking Answers in the People

To get to the bottom of the soaking mystery, I turned to the source: Mormons and ex-Mormons themselves. I created a Reddit thread, reached out to contacts, and scoured online forums.

The responses were… mixed, to say the least:

• Some had never heard of soaking
• Others swore it was common practice
• Many dismissed it as an urban legend
• A few admitted to knowing someone who had “soaked“

One ex-Mormon told me, “It’s like Bigfoot. Everyone’s heard of it, but no one’s actually seen it.“

This diversity of responses highlights the challenge of investigating such a sensitive topic. Sexual practices, especially in conservative communities, are not often discussed openly. This secrecy can allow myths to flourish, but it also makes it difficult to definitively prove or disprove them.

I also reached out to several BYU students, promising anonymity in exchange for their honest thoughts. Most seemed bemused by the question. “We joke about it sometimes,” one junior told me, “but I don’t know anyone who’s actually done it. It’s more of a meme than anything else.”

The Global Mormon Perspective

Interestingly, views on soaking seemed to differ geographically. Some claimed it was a “Utah thing,” while others specified it was known at BYU or BYU Idaho.

Utah Mormonism is its own unique subculture. With about 60% of the population being LDS, there’s a mix of strict adherence and relaxed attitudes that you don’t see elsewhere. As Lisa Barlow might say, they’re “Mormon 2.0.“

This geographic variation raises some interesting questions:

1. Is soaking (if it exists) a response to the particularly strict culture at BYU?
2. Does the concentration of Mormons in Utah create an environment where such myths can more easily spread?
3. How do Mormon practices and beliefs differ in areas where they’re a minority versus a majority?

One ex-Mormon from outside Utah told me, “I never heard of soaking until I went to BYU. It was like entering a whole different world.” This suggests that even within Mormonism, there can be significant cultural variations.

The Confusion Continues

The more I dug, the more confused I became. For every person who swore soaking was real, there was another who looked at me like I’d grown a second head when I mentioned it.

This confusion highlights a key point: sexual practices, especially in conservative religious communities, are often shrouded in secrecy and shame. This makes it incredibly difficult to separate fact from fiction.

It’s also worth considering the role of shame and guilt in perpetuating these stories. In communities where open discussion of sexuality is taboo, rumors and myths can take on a life of their own. The very secrecy that’s meant to preserve purity can instead breed misinformation and anxiety.

The Limits of Non-Penetrative Sexual Activities

While soaking might be more myth than reality, it’s clear that some Mormon youth do engage in non-penetrative sexual activities. Dry humping, for instance, seems to be relatively common.

But even for married Mormon couples, not everything goes. In 1982, LDS Church president Spencer W. Kimball warned against “unnatural” sexual acts, which many interpreted as a condemnation of oral sex and other non-procreative activities.

Current LDS policy is to avoid asking married couples about their private sexual practices, a change made after allegations of inappropriate questioning by local church leaders.

This shift in policy reflects a broader trend within the LDS Church towards a more nuanced approach to sexuality. While the core teachings on chastity remain unchanged, there’s a growing recognition of the need for more open, positive discussions about sex within the bounds of marriage.

Some progressive Mormon voices are calling for even more change. They argue that the church’s teachings on sexuality, while well-intentioned, can sometimes do more harm than good, leading to shame, guilt, and in some cases, sexual dysfunction.

The Historical Context of Mormonism

To understand soaking (or the belief in soaking), it’s crucial to understand the historical context of Mormonism:

• Founded in the 1830s by Joseph Smith
• Practiced polygamy until 1890
• Emphasizes chastity and sexual purity
• Has a complex history with sexuality and marriage

Unlike older religions with centuries of theological debate on sexuality, Mormonism is relatively young. This might explain some of the confusion and experimentation around sexual norms.

The church’s history with polygamy, in particular, has shaped its approach to sexuality. After officially abandoning the practice in 1890, the church doubled down on monogamy and sexual purity, perhaps as a way to distance itself from its polygamous past.

This historical context is crucial for understanding why sexual purity is such a central tenet of modern Mormonism, and why concepts like soaking might gain traction (even if only as myths) within Mormon communities.

Old Internet Threads and Their Reliability

Many of the claims about soaking come from old internet threads. But how reliable are these sources?

Pros:

• Provide historical context
• Often include first-hand accounts
• Can show how the concept has evolved over time

Cons:

• Anonymity makes verification difficult
• Echo chamber effect can amplify misinformation
• Potential for trolling or deliberate misinformation
• May reflect outdated information or attitudes

It’s crucial to approach these sources with a critical eye. Just because something is repeated often doesn’t make it true. In fact, the repetition itself can create a false sense of validity.

One particularly infamous thread from 2012 claimed that soaking was “common knowledge” at BYU. But when pressed for details, the original poster admitted they had never actually witnessed it themselves. This illustrates how easily hearsay can be presented as fact in online discussions.

The Role of Media and Popular Culture

It’s worth considering how media representation and popular culture have contributed to the spread of the soaking myth. TV shows like “Big Love” and “Under the Banner of Heaven” have brought Mormon sexuality into the mainstream conversation, often focusing on the most sensational aspects.

While these portrayals aren’t directly responsible for the soaking myth, they contribute to a cultural fascination with Mormon sexual practices. This fascination creates fertile ground for urban legends like soaking to take root.

Moreover, the internet’s meme culture has latched onto soaking with gusto. Memes, by their very nature, prioritize humor and shock value over accuracy. A funny meme about soaking can spread far more quickly than a nuanced discussion of Mormon sexual ethics.

The Psychological Aspect

From a psychological perspective, the concept of soaking is fascinating. It speaks to the mental gymnastics people might perform to reconcile their desires with their beliefs.

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, a Mormon sex therapist, hasn’t commented on soaking specifically, but her work offers some relevant insights. She often discusses how rigid rules around sexuality can lead to “immature” sexual development, where individuals struggle to integrate their sexuality with their moral framework.

In this context, something like soaking (whether real or imagined) could be seen as a manifestation of this struggle. It’s an attempt to find a loophole, to experience sexual intimacy without fully violating the letter of the law.

The Impact on Mormon Youth

Whether soaking is real or not, the very idea of it can have real impacts on Mormon youth. The persistence of this myth might:

1. Create anxiety about what is and isn’t allowed
2. Lead to confusion about healthy sexual development
3. Perpetuate shame around sexual desires
4. Undermine the church’s teachings on chastity

Some Mormon educators and youth leaders have expressed concern about the soaking myth. They worry that it could lead young people to engage in risky sexual behavior under the misguided belief that it’s somehow acceptable.

Conclusion and Future Research

After all this digging, what can we conclude about Mormon soaking?

1. It’s more likely an urban legend than a widespread practice
2. The concept reflects real tensions around sexuality in conservative religious communities
3. The spread of the soaking myth highlights our fascination with taboo sexual practices
4. It underscores the need for more open, honest discussions about sexuality in religious contexts
5. The power of internet culture in spreading and amplifying such myths is evident

But the final verdict is still out. Researchers at the University of British Columbia are conducting a study called SOAK (Sexual Opinions, Attitudes, and Knowledge) focusing on BYU students. Perhaps this will finally shed some light on the elusive practice of soaking.

In the meantime, let’s approach this topic with empathy and understanding. Whether soaking is fact or fiction, it points to the very real challenges many young people face in navigating sexuality within restrictive religious contexts.

The Importance of Sex Education

The soaking phenomenon, whether real or not, highlights the crucial need for comprehensive sex education, especially in conservative communities. Many experts argue that lack of accurate information about sex and sexuality can lead to misconceptions, risky behaviors, and unnecessary guilt or shame.

Dr. Laura M. Padilla-Walker, a professor at BYU who studies adolescent development, emphasizes the importance of open communication about sexuality:

“When we don’t talk about sex, or when we only talk about it in terms of rules and restrictions, we leave young people ill-equipped to navigate their own sexual development in healthy ways.”

While the LDS Church provides some sex education materials for youth, critics argue that these often focus more on moral imperatives than on practical information about sexual health and relationships.

The Future of Mormon Sexuality

As Mormonism continues to evolve in the 21st century, so too does its approach to sexuality. While core teachings on chastity remain unchanged, there’s a growing movement within the church for more open, positive discussions about sex.

Some progressive Mormon voices, like sex therapist Natasha Helfer Parker, advocate for a more sex-positive approach within the bounds of LDS teachings. They argue that healthy sexuality is a vital part of human development and that overly restrictive attitudes can do more harm than good.

However, these voices often face pushback from more conservative elements within the church. The tension between traditional teachings and evolving societal norms around sexuality is likely to remain a key issue for Mormonism in the coming years.

The Broader Implications

The soaking phenomenon isn’t just about Mormonism or even religion. It speaks to broader issues in how we as a society deal with sexuality, especially young adult sexuality. Some key takeaways:

1. The power of taboo: The more we make something forbidden, the more fascinating it becomes.
2. The internet as an amplifier: Social media can turn obscure concepts into global talking points overnight.
3. The need for nuance: Complex issues like sexuality resist simple, one-size-fits-all rules.
4. The importance of critical thinking: In an age of viral misinformation, the ability to critically evaluate claims is more important than ever.

A Call for Empathy

As we wrap up this exploration of Mormon soaking, it’s crucial to remember the human element. Behind every salacious rumor or viral TikTok are real people grappling with real challenges.

For many young Mormons (and young people in other conservative religious traditions), navigating sexuality can be a minefield of conflicting messages, peer pressure, and personal desires. Whether soaking is real or not, the fact that it’s believable to many speaks volumes about the challenges these young people face.

Rather than mockery or judgment, perhaps what’s needed is empathy and understanding. Open, honest conversations about sexuality – free from shame or stigma – could go a long way toward dispelling myths like soaking and helping young people develop healthy, positive relationships with their own sexuality.

FAQs

Is soaking a real thing in Mormon culture?

While many people claim to have heard of soaking, there’s little concrete evidence that it’s a widespread practice. It’s more likely an urban legend that reflects real tensions around sexuality in Mormon culture.

Is the Book of Mormon fact or fiction?

The Book of Mormon is considered scripture by members of the LDS Church. Its historical accuracy is a matter of faith for believers and debate for scholars. This is a separate issue from the question of soaking.

Can the Book of Mormon be proven historically?

Archaeological and historical evidence for the events described in the Book of Mormon is a subject of ongoing debate. Many Mormon scholars argue for its historicity, while non-Mormon academics generally view it as a 19th-century work of fiction.

What does shaking the bed mean in Mormon?

“Shaking the bed” is another alleged practice where a third person shakes the bed of a “soaking” couple to create movement. Like soaking itself, there’s no evidence this is a real, widespread practice. It’s likely another iteration of the soaking urban legend.

How does the LDS Church officially respond to rumors about soaking?

The LDS Church has not officially commented on soaking. Generally, the church encourages members to follow the law of chastity, which prohibits all sexual relations outside of marriage.

Are there any studies on the prevalence of soaking among Mormon youth?

As of now, there are no peer-reviewed studies specifically on the prevalence of soaking. The upcoming SOAK study at the University of British Columbia may provide more insights into sexual behaviors and attitudes among Mormon youth.

Remember, when it comes to topics like Mormon soaking, it’s important to approach with an open mind, a critical eye, and a healthy dose of skepticism. After all, not everything you read on the internet is true – even if it makes for a great TikTok.

In the end, the story of Mormon soaking is as much about us – our fascinations, our fears, our tendency to believe the unbelievable – as it is about any actual sexual practice. It’s a mirror reflecting our cultural attitudes toward sex, religion, and the power of a good story. And in that reflection, we might just learn something about ourselves.

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